The Language of The Lost

The way people think is clearly revealed by what you hear them say. There is no getting around that. We speak loudly about what we believe and what we depend upon when the going gets tough. The resourceful self-made American has a lot to draw upon. People that never come to know Christ have a language that expresses a lot of humanistic philosophy. The same old man made moral approach to living is often expressed by those who live their lives without ever acknowledging God.

You would think that Christians in America would be speaking a different language. I have noticed over the years that Christians talk less and less about their personal encounters with Jesus. Instead, their language revolves around precepts and doctrine. Folks talk about the great sermon. They ramble on about church attendance or the successful turn out at one of their events but it seems to me that you rarely hear them talk about their relationship with Him. Our language is a clear indicator as to what we are all about. There has been a gradual shifting of our focus over the years. Eventually we move things that are heavenly and make them earthly so that we can have control over every situation.

Are we missing God because of this? You bet! I am firmly convinced that for the most part very few of us know what God is saying anymore. Hearing from God means a whole lot less of us and a whole lot more of Him. The scripture speaks very clearly about losing our life to gain His. Yes, it costs us something to deny ourselves in order to hear from God. It's a price very few want to pay. The odd thing about our unwillingness is that it is costing us in a different way. I yearn for the days when we inquire of God. I like the fact that I don't know what's going on and resting in the fact that HE does. I'll never know anything clearly aside from Him anyway.

Lord,

You have such patience, love , and grace. You hear us speak a language that says nothing about you and yet you let us remain here on earth. Your love is extravagant and far reaching. Your patience is beyond human imagination and your grace is without question the mercy you give to all of us.

The Vineyard

My success in the insurance business started to grow and yet I still yearned deep in my heart for a return to ministry. I still made regular trips down to West Virginia to visit John, Marilyn, and a gang of old friends. In the early to mid-1980's there was a movement that began to stir out in California. It was later called the Vineyard when adopted by John Wimber who at that time was a church consultant and a former rockin' roller who played keyboards in the 60's. I loved the beginnings of the Vineyard church. Apparently there were a number of former Christian leaders and pastors that were totally worn out by church. In a last ditch effort to keep some kind of community alive they would meet in a home somewhere in Southern California. The gathering was at first depressing and actually quite embarrassing because those that gathered were tired and weary of each other as well. There was nothing new under the sun that they hadn't tried and so they seemed destined to walk away from the whole church scene until one particular gathering took place that changed their lives forever.

Apparently in this one gathering they openly began to confess their bitterness and resentment that they had for each other and the frustration began to mount and then it happened. The Holy Spirit embraced the group as they began to confess their faults one to another and they all broke down into deep remorse and wept for hours. This "Great Sob" experience continued into the next day and into the next few weeks as the house where they were meeting began to fill with repentant believers from all over the area. The house was filled daily from room to room and yet not much was spoken as the people entered. There was just a lot of weeping and cleansing going on. The Lord came in a mighty way to wash them and revive them. Many were saved during this experience and yet no one attempted to organize or make anything out of what was taking place.

After several months, John Wimber was invited to meet with this group to give his opinion of what had just taken place. The funny thing about his initial impression is that John Wimber didn't think that this fledgling group was going anywhere and he didn't really have much direction for them. It really didn't matter what John Wimber thought initially, the Lord had plans for him. The group eventually invited John to Pastor them and Wimber could not resist the promptings of the Lord. John Wimber was appointed as Pastor of this gathering later to be called Vineyard Christian Fellowship.

The Vineyard grew leaps and bounds and eventually found its way to Wheeling, West Virgina. The story of the Wheeling Vineyard is incredible. A young man in his early 20's named Todd was sent to Wheeling, West Virgina to plant a church. When the Lord spoke to him about Wheeling, he didn't even know that there was a Wheeling, West Virginia. The Lord was on the move and a great story was about to be written right under our noses about 60 miles west of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I was able to see this happen and for the first time in many years I saw hope for the church.

Next up......

The Wheeling Vineyard

Alienation of the Saints

When we are all doing the same thing under the guise of religiously activity there is very little persecution and for that matter very little alienation that takes place. We read in the scriptures about the persecution of Paul, Timothy and others and it makes you wonder about what we are doing here in America that is really cutting edge. As long as the church stays confined and organized there will be no persecution and alienation of the saints and in doing so we will never experience the real life and power of God.


I do find it refreshing when someone has developed conviction over something. It sets them apart. They have made a stand and because they have made a valued decision they will surely suffer some kind of persecution or alienate themselves from others. It is that kind of person that often leads the way. When a stand is made and ultimately bears fruit or proves to be right then others jump on the bandwagon. I see a whole lot more followers than I do leaders anymore. Too many want to stay in the middle and live a non-committal life style. How boring is that? Being a 60's guy, I'm used to stirring the pot and I suppose that I will be doing some of that in the days ahead. Stay Tuned!

Having Some History...

Having some history is a nice way of saying that you are getting older. I have to admit that things feel a bit different on this side of the timeline. You actually can look back and see what kind of decisions that you made and how they formed your life. My mother is going to be 90 years old this October and she continually talks about the experiences from her past. I guess that at age 90 there is a lot more behind you than ahead of you and so it makes perfect sense to hear her talk about the things during the days of her youth.

In some ways having too much past can interfere with your present if you are not actively pursuing life and God's purposes for your life. I have had an interesting life already and so I feel like I could write a sequel to Jimmy Stewart's movie about "A Wonderful Life". The present at age 61 doesn't feel like the present at ages 25, 35, 45, or even 50. There are some positives about this age for me. I've had gray or white hair for about 15 years. I told everybody along time ago when my hair turned completely gray that when I turned age 60 I would still look the same and that everybody else would look older.

I also do not think that I could have been a blogger back in the day. I wouldn't have been able to sit still for this. My recommendation to those of you that are in the early stages of your history is to understand that your decision making is your control to what you put on your historical calendar. Decision making is difficult for us when we have dubious character. Character is the basis for our decision making and so it behooves us to develop good character. There were times when I learned from my mistakes and there were times that I ignored them only to find those same mistakes repeating themselves over and over again until I decided to change.

The Bible refers to this principle as "Sowing and Reaping". If we do not know Christ then we go through life with a corrupted character and we are bound to reap some terrible consequences. Knowing Christ at least permits us in part to partake of His character and therefore we make better decisions because we have His life living through us. That was my saving grace. The Lord's influence on my life gave me a chance and I am so grateful to Him.

Success, I guess?

Well, that first year with Allstate started out very slow and ended up at a very hectic pace. Frieda and I accumulated hundreds of prospects over the phone and I ended up writing over 400 policies in 9 months. I was awarded by the Western Territory as " 1986 Rookie of the Year". I described prospecting to many of my fellow agents as nothing more than faith. Sales were the "Substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen" and that faithfulness and commitment was my part in the process of faith. After all, that was my directive from the Lord. It was kind of cool to see things happen so quickly and yet I can attest that the long hours really did pay off. I remember receiving my award at the Agents annual awards meeting. I also won a trip for Dar and I to Bermuda and so that was a very good year for me.

Was this what God wanted for me or was He teaching me something about faithfulness? I didn't try to figure all that out back then. I just accepted the fact that consistent hard work produced good results. This was a whole new world for me. I started to see the insurance business as a vehicle that could utilize my talent and also benefit my family. I was free to be creative and make decisions. I was able to experiment without apprehension. I knew after that first year that this was just the beginning of my success story with Allstate. I was going to make a mark for sure. I knew that my time had come in the insurance business.

Those were very exciting days and my ministry desire wanned a bit but never really left. Even at the peak of my success I would often wish that I was being recognized somewhere by the church instead of the insurance business. This is when I realized that God's impact on my life would never leave me. No matter how much success I enjoyed in the world it truly paled in comparison to the excitement that I had serving Him as I did in those days back in Follansbee.

Success? I guess, but the deepest joy was reserved only for Him. I became spiritually dull at the time but I could always count on His faithfulness to keep me in line.

Next up.....

The Vineyard

Practicing My Preaching

So here I was with a new career located in a shopping center store location. My fellow elder had since left his wife and so I hired her to help me build the business from scratch. Her name was Frieda. We would work from nine in the morning until nine in the evening and it was hard work. We were doing telephone prospecting because we had no accounts. We had plenty of room to grow. That's the business side of what was going on at that location but there was something deep going on inside of me. I felt like the insurance business was just a temporary interruption to what God really had in store for me. I didn't know what journaling was Per Se but I started a daily journal back in 1986. I still have the first three years of that journal and when I read it today I can still feel the loneliness that I felt at the time.

My day would start about 7:00 AM. I would arrive at the office two hours before Frieda and I would begin to journal. I made a lot of assumptions back then and some of them were wrong I suppose but I had this idea in my head that God wanted me to prepare myself for something that He would reveal to me in the days ahead. My wife and family were not privy to this. I was very private about what I was doing in that office every morning. I started writing sermons and memorizing scripture. I would stand up and rehearse behind an imaginary pulpit. After all, that is what I now perceived the ministry to be. I was very articulate and dynamic while practicing. One day the cobbler next door came to his shop early and heard me preaching. I was so embarrassed at first but he stopped over and started asking all kinds of questions. He was a lonely young man. He didn't know anything about God and was confused by his childhood. We struck up a good friendship.

My early morning prayers were almost always the same. I was always pleading with the Lord about what to do about the ministry and the church. My wife was actually kind of happy to see me away from the church scene and working at Allstate. At least I had some direction and that gave her some security I suppose but my heart was never in the business. I became very efficient at the business and I loved the competitive nature of it all but I had a love-hate relationship at best while selling insurance. My favorite time of the day was that 7:00 AM time with the Lord. When that time was over, I would turn on another switch and become the consummate business entrepreneur.

At least the cobbler heard one of those sermons and I was content searching and praying all by myself. I didn't want to involve other people because I thought that this was my time to be with the Lord and sort things out. I resisted fellowship for quite awhile. Going to church somewhere never entered my mind. The churches just seemed to be more of the same. I wanted my relationship with the Lord renewed and I was yearning for Him to empower me like the days in Follansbee but it never happened and so this was definitely a wilderness walk for me. My family loved me and supported me in most things but nobody really cared about my calling other than myself and so I was in a very dry and lonely place.

Next Up...

Success, I guess?

God is Silent

You will read over and over again in the Old Testament about the long periods of time when God was silent. People just did not hear from God. When I read the Bible about such times I wrestle with our present day relationship with God. It seems that every church seems to have heard from the Lord and they are out and about doing the Lord's work. My only conclusion about what is happening is that if we are truly hearing from God then the overall results would have to be better. If you are one of those folks that do not really know what God is saying in the midst of all this religious activity then I would say that your position is unique and that you are onto something.

I know that as a father when I am silent around my children that I am often deeply disturbed about something to the point that my communication is rendered useless because I know that my children are not listening when I speak. They are too busy doing their own thing and acknowledging me may be an impediment to them. That is very frightening to me when I think about our Heavenly Father because without His voice and guidance the world is on a collision course with disaster.

My gut feeling is that God is silent right now because when God truly speaks then humility and reverence becomes a part of us because we find that we are no match before an awesome God when He speaks. I've read a number of books. There are a lot of wonderful incites and excellent observations about the condition of the modern day church but I still feel that it hasn't happened yet. Maybe God really has to use the foolish things and the base things to confound the wisdom of men. God's word may land on an unsuspecting soul whose heart is pliable in His hands. That's my hunch. I don't think that He is going to speak through the institutionalized church. They aren't truly interested in what He has to say because they are too busy being who they are. Yes, we do take ourselves seriously. I have done it myself.

The Interview

So here I am in the early 1980's with apparently no future in the church and a heart gone astray because of the circumstances. I had my wife and three children to support and so I had to make a go of it in the insurance business. I never really committed myself to the insurance business because I was hanging on to the ministry as my possible life's vocation. That possibility no longer existed and so I had to commit my time and energy into selling insurance. The Lord had already spoken very clearly that His basis for promotion would not be my talent. It was faithfulness and commitment that the Lord was after in me. For the first time in my life, I was ready to go all the way and aggressively pursue a career. I had already interviewed at a number of places but there was one job interview that really intrigued me. It was with Allstate Insurance. I could actually see myself as an Allstate agent and I finally got an interview with their manager. His name was Bud McDevitt.

The day of the interview came and I prayed that the Lord would be with me and give me the right words to say. I'll never forget that interview because I became very confident and actually a bit cocky during the process. I was always impressed with the ferocious Jack Lambert of the Pittsburgh Steelers. He was the epitome of commitment and success during the Steeler Super Bowl years and so I told Mr McDevitt that if he would hire me, I would become the Jack Lambert of Allstate insurance. He laughed and our conversation suddenly turned into a football chat. It didn't take too long after the interview for Mr McDevitt to call me and offer me the job. May 1st, 1985 I became an Allstate agent. My world had changed dramatically. My focus had changed dramatically and yet way down deep inside I still yearned for the things of God.

Next up....

Practicing what I could Preach

Ba-Ba Black Sheep

Did you know that the wool on a black sheep is very beautiful? The problem with the black sheep is that they are commercially undesirable to the textile industry. They are not useful and so they are not wanted. I find that so intriguing because the comparison of the textile industry to the commercial church industry is so obviously parallel. Not all of the churches in America are corporate business machines but the thinking behind the majority of them is quite similar. In the textile industry the industry comes first. The natural resources that it uses is essential to it's success. Black sheep are not essential. Their wool cannot be dyed. The black sheep has therefore become symbolic of the undesirable and disreputable. We have all heard about about the black sheep of the family. They just don't fit in with the others. In the 18th and 19th century the black sheep was considered as the mark of the devil in England.



So, through no fault of its own, the black sheep struggles for acceptance. There is no legitimate place in society for this poor wretched animal. When I think about the black sheep, I think about the many Christians that I have known over the years that just didn't seem to fit in with the business of church. The folks that I am talking about are not the free spirited and rebellious but actually quite the opposite. They want to give themselves and many have given themselves only to be spurned by the commercial church. They were commercially undesirable. They would ask the wrong questions. They would stir things up that upset the flow of business.
I was a businessman most of my life and I know how business operates. What have you done for me lately is kind of the going attitude.

Don't be surprised if you see The Lord do something about this in the days ahead.

As The Word says:

1 Corinthians 1:26-28

For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:

But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;

And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are:

He knows that we struggle......

Life doesn't run smoothly. There are always a number of little bumps and an occasional big bump in the road. If you live in Pennsylvania then you are also dealing with a life full of potholes. It's symptomatic of our region. Maybe some of the anxiety comes from the feeling that we always have to be right and that we can never make a mistake and that if somehow we can come close to always being right and very close to being mistake free then our life will run smooth. The problem with that kind of thinking is that it all revolves around our own behavior with no regard for the unforeseen or other people. This self-imposed pressure that so many of us put on ourselves is often cruel and self demeaning. We just don't understand our condition. We don't understand that we are flawed. We are flawed because the human race has a broken relationship with God. We have interrupted His perfect plan for us by inventing plans of our own and the lunacy of devising our own way is costing us plenty.

We can't control our desires because we are flawed and so often times our desires become obsessions that ultimately begin to own us. Do you know who and what owns you? What is your bottom line. Where do you hang your hat? What's your base when all is said and done? In other words, what is motivating you as you journey through life. This can fluctuate for sure but sooner or later you will set your course or like many wander aimlessly with no base at all.

We really take ourselves way too seriously. While we are on this journey, did you ever wonder where God is in all this chaos. The only way I can begin to understand God is by understanding how he made us and in particular the characteristics of fatherhood and motherhood. When I watched my children growing up it was difficult at times to see them struggle. I also knew that it was not my place to always barge in and try to fix every problem or my kids would have felt suffocated and oppressed by their own Dad. The best moments were when my kids would come to me for help. They would give me permission to speak into their life and so I knew that what I offered at least had a chance to be received. If we are overbearing with our children they won't come to us with an open heart.

Having said that, why would we view God's position with us any other way. We are created in His image and with His attributes and so God too is waiting for us to come to Him. He knows that we struggle and is waiting for us to cry out to Him. Many folks interpret the silence of God as indifference but I would suggest that He is not intrusive but rather a Father in wait. He is active in the affairs of the world. He has everything under control and everything that is going to happen to the future to the world is in the Lord's hands but our individual relationship with the Lord is a separate matter. The next step is always ours. He is a Father in wait. Can you imagine how much we could get resolved if we would turn to Him. We may not get all the answers that we want but we will always receive His grace that enables us to go through anything, even death.